Guilt after receiving one or two doses of any of the covid-19 vaccines?

Do you feel guilty of having the covid-19 vaccine, whether one or two doses?

Would you feel guilty of winning 2 million dollars because you entered the lotto or a lucky draw?

I bet your answer to the first question, on the covid-19 vaccine, is or could be, "yes, I feel guilty".

But your answer to the second question of winning 2 million dollars, is or would be "no, I do not feel guilty".

For your and everyone's health, you need the vaccine unless you have any health conditions that prevent you from having it.

You can choose to take the vaccine.

You can choose to enter the lotto or lucky draw.

You do not need to enter the lotto or lucky draw in the same manner as you need the vaccine.

However, you would likely not feel guilty of winning 2 million dollars, likely because it was not guaranteed you would win it. And of course, if you are sensible, you would buy a house/car/pay for your study/ pay off any debt and/or loans etc. You would consider them necessary.

The vaccine is a guarantee once you go to your appointment and it is in your body. (This is also the case with spending money). It is highly likely if you get infected, the damage on you, society and the government is much less than if you were unvaccinated. However, money and politics, among other factors, have an impact on accessibility and likely which vaccine, or more, is available for you to take. It is not just the decision you have made, it is how the vaccine came to be available to you that is also in play. 

Yet you will likely still feel guilty about getting the vaccine and not if you won 2 million dollars because you entered the lotto or a lucky draw: this is my statement.

Are humans contradictory in this regard? Are they illogical? Logical?

One thing is for sure, my statement is food for thought.

- A.M.

New Zealand covid-19 update

The update was interesting today, to say the least: Shaun Hendy's first appearance (who Dr Bloomfield addresses as 'Shaun') and a 'pivot', which has changed my view of Jacinda Ardern.

Both Her and Ashley Bloomfield seem to be saying 'we may never get to zero community cases, but we will not let it affect the daily lives of all in NZ' - this, to me, is different from 'stamping out covid', which I understood as getting it out of the community so no more cases after it had been achieved: in other words, covid, specifically Delta, got in, then the government kicked it out, and became "covid free" like before, a feat not done by any place thus far. Yes, they still really want zero cases, but are signalling and/or preparing the general population this may not happen. Hmmm. Words eh? Or rather, politics? Up until then, I was mostly on board with Jacinda's words.

All I will say is, to all you living in New Zealand, whether cases get to zero or not, prepare to wear masks for the foreseeable future. Have wet wipes, hand sanitizer. Capacity caps. ACCEPT it and fucking do it. Do not complain, it does not help you mentally if you're naturally inclined to not accept in this specific case. Do you value health and life? And to a lesser extent international travel?

I know your psyche, but you are still extremely extremely lucky and fortunate to not be impacted so much by covid. Your country is absolutely beautiful. Masks, hand sanitizer, wet wipes, aren't really an inconvenience. If that is all you need to think about and do on a daily basis at some point in the foreseeable future, be grateful. The government will manage the containment of covid.

If you don't even need masks, wet wipes and hand sanitizer, even better. Just keep enough masks in stock.

You may be at level 1 indefinitely and that's ok.

Please, please realize what you have because you may feel you've had it hard and you've been slammed, but many not in New Zealand find it hard to believe you've been living a life pre-pandemic for the most part.

Love always,

- A.M.

Hey, The Team of 5 Million, Haere mai ki konei, Bro...

Welcome to the rest of the covid-19 family, New Zealand. Specifically, the covid-19 Delta variant.

I love you dearly, but you, the general population, need a dose of reality, even more so because you have, since January 2020, basically lived without any restrictions.

It seems a lots of businesses are taking a hit, regardless of the fact many are in level 2.

I am talking to you, the customers, of all 'non-essential' businesses, the ones serving food and drink; selling clothes, books, jewellery, art; massage parlours, tattoo and piercing shops; cinemas etc.

I am not coming from a point of view of helping businesses.

I am coming from YOUR point of view:

- you want to go out but your emotions won't let you, specifically you are scared of getting infected

- you have no underlying health conditions

- you don't want to wear a mask

- you have enough disposable income to buy 'non-essential' products

Note: this takes into account the fact you have not had any shot of Pfizer-BioNTech.

Note note: if you have had one or two shots of Pfizer-BioNTech, the below still applies.

Note note note: the below applies also to level three, but of course your movement is more restricted so obviously only go out for essential reasons

- you want to go out but your emotions won't let you, specifically you are scared of getting infected: control your emotions; also, think of the risks you take on a regular basis such as driving; crossing the road; looking at your phone when walking down the street and not paying attention and possibly falling over or banging your head against a pole; burning yourself when cooking. You cannot control getting infected with covid or not and you may even get long covid, but you also cannot control if you get hit by a bus when you cross the road and if the damage is severe, you could have to deal with long-term health issues from being hit by the bus.

It is healthy to be skeptical, or maybe critically think is more appropriate, about your government, but have some faith in them. Nationally, they have done well, you are living in the country during the covid-19 pandemic so you have first-hand experience. Internationally, your government's response has been praised. And it is international, but the Economist released a 'Normalcy Index' in July 2021 which was based on what seem to be very objective and clinical criteria: New Zealand was 2nd, after Hong Kong.

- you have no underlying health conditions: this is not necessarily a factor as Delta is infecting perfectly healthy people, but it may do. If anything, it can be 'fake' self-reassurance.

- you don't want to wear a mask ie over the nose and mouth: wear a fucking mask if you do not want to get sick or die. And do not complain unless you don't care about your health. Also consider you have basically not worn one since January 2020 at the earliest or March 2020 when the WHO finally announced it was a pandemic. To connect with the first point, you are lessening your risk of getting infected with covid-19 by wearing a mask.

- you have enough disposable income to buy 'non-essential' products: there are many, many people who don't have any disposable income, let alone a place to live or money to pay rent and utilities; go out and spend it.

I will not go into detail here, in another post at another time maybe, but I do not see not wanting or being vaccine hesitant or just plainly against having a covid vaccine as necessarily selfish and against wanting to stop spreading and containing covid-19. I partly, if not mostly, covered this in 'To be injected or not injected: the covid-19 vaccine part I', https://holandt.blogspot.com/2021/04/to-be-injected-or-not-injected-covid-19.html, and 'To be injected or not injected: the covid-19 vaccine part II', https://holandt.blogspot.com/2021/05/to-be-injected-or-not-injected-covid-19.html .

I might also cover this at another time, but if you decide to take the vaccine, and by that I mean you critically think and make the decision yourself, instead of just do it because the government tells you to, or you're a sheep and follow others, it is selfish, or at least can be seen to be, to have the vaccine: who does it protect first and foremost? You.

If you can't control your emotions and/or you don't want to wear a mask, then suck it up and stay inside for any non-essential activity or go out and put yourself at risk first and foremost, and others, second.

If you don't want to wear a mask but do, suck it up and stop complaining.

In general, to the general population, stop complaining and accept the government's decisions or alert levels. Yes, many people are having money problems, businesses and individuals. Yes, you want the choice to leave your house if you are in level 4 even if you don't want to go out (or level 3 when and if); this also means you have to live with other people and/or pets if you are in that situation and cannot leave if it is healthy (for alone time for example), including children who are not at daycare/school because of covid. Yes, you want to be able to go outside in level 2 (and level 1 when and if) without covid-19 restrictions, but this is so in the long-term you can live life with no or very few restrictions and money stability (because lockdowns and restrictions by and large do nothing to help businesses).

As as I have said before, you are one of the lucky populations who have for the most part enjoyed freedom of individual movement since January 2020. Recognize and realize that and be grateful. Also, what is complaining and getting angry going to do, really, on an individual basis? You think the government is going to lift alert level 4 and 3 just because you're bored, don't want your movement restricted etc. when the alternative is being infected and death? Many, many places have been wearing masks, in and out of lockdown, working from home, getting regular covid tests, subject to capacity caps and restricted opening hours, among other measures, for over a year, or a year and a half. Uncertainty? Talk to Italy. Talk to the UK.

Uncertainty is also contextual: it can be nice to not know what present you are getting for your Birthday, it can be exciting to go on holiday to a place you know nothing about and have never been to before, it can be desirable to not know the sex of your baby and in non-pandemic times, not have a roadmap down to the last detail of your future.

I have never been in lockdown so I can't speak to that and I honestly don't know how I would fare. However, I accepted all the government's decisions. I have been wearing a face mask for just over a year and a half, the actual opening/closure of certain governmental facilities such as libraries and sports centres have been affected; so have opening hours and capacity caps for restaurants, cinemas, swimming pools etc.; but we have always been able to go to plazas, go out to eat and drink etc.

Acceptance of the government's decisions makes it easier, instead of fighting against it. Acceptance is not the same as agreement.

I have got my first shot of Pfizer-BioNTech and have my second appointment booked.

Your Prime Minister, Jacinda Ardern, is also a mother so she also has a covid perspective which includes children when taking decisions regarding covid.

- A.M.

Haere mai

Hello Everyone,

I cannot speak about living in and out of lockdowns with hundreds of infected covid-19 cases a day and a total amount of deaths in the six figures and/or being a frontline worker and/or being a business owner during this covid-19 pandemic and/or not having enough money for the basic necessities of rent, electricity, water and food and in my case, internet, but I can speak to living a relatively normal life before and during the pandemic.

I have been wearing a mask outside my house since late January 2020, definitely a month before WHO officially announced covid-19 was a pandemic, if not more than a month. Restrictions have been tightened and loosened here depending on the situation: QR scanning (which I don't do, but I write down my details if required to enter); temperature checks (I do depending); capacity caps; opening hours restrictions, no social distancing because it's not feasible on public transport, supermarkets and on the street; hand sanitizers, wet wipes are normal; automatic doors are commonplace and years before covid-19 existed; no lockdown ever; closures and re-openings of schools, libraries, sports centres, children's playgrounds among other 'locations'; plazas have been open throughout; border restrictions; an efficient and fairly flexible vaccination programme which caters more to the population than the programme: a choice from two vaccines, a written and digital record with a QR code, you can pick the date and time of your first jab and the only requirement for your second is it is 3 weeks/21 days after the first, otherwise you can choose as many weeks above that gap as you want; financial support directly from the government to the individuals via internet banking; financial support from the government to businesses; no protests against restrictions; a free reusable mask from the government in 2020; a free covid test in 2020; free saliva covid tests at vending machines; more financial support direct from the government to individuals but with requirements to spend it in shops and/or public transport to 'boost the local economy' (stupid in my opinion).

I have worked from home only once for about one calendar month since January 2020. This was at the request of my employer: I think it was genuinely because we knew not that much about the virus at that point and we were going through a spike or maybe even another wave. Even then, not everyone worked from home I think, they just made sure there were less people in the office.

The restrictions here work for us. I am in one of the safest places in the World to contain covid. On a global scale, our infected case numbers and deaths are great, that is to say low, especially when compared to the US, England, Australia and others. We are an influential economic and tourist hub internationally: so there is a huge financial loss (which I personally don't give a fuck about, human health and life is more important) but means the government are aware of potential spread of covid if they don't manage incoming and outgoing traffic through the border.

The government also have experience of health problems in the community and having to deal with them: they were more prepared than other governments and populations who had basically no experience.

I am more scared of hearing and reading about what people on the frontline are going through, than scared of covid-19. I have enough faith in the government in this regard. I also educate myself so I understand about covid instead of just ignore it because it's too scary or decide to be ignorant or for any other reason. Knowing is better for me, even if reading about covid to better understand it is difficult and emotional.

If you're scared, do not like the unknown and uncertainty of your future which is basically having a lot less control over your life, want my advice/opinion and/or to talk about anything else that has a connection with covid, haere mai, viens là, vengas aquí, send me an e-mail using the 'Contact me' form and I'll do my best.

1. I can tell you it is possible to live a lot like life was before the pandemic during the pandemic, albeit with restrictions, and in more detail if you e-mail me

2. Covid has made a lot of us deal with a lot psychologically. Many people don't even understand lockdown/restrictions are psychological: you want the option of going out or flying on a plane, even if you don't actually want to

I believe I can help you psychologically, I am aware of the mental aspect of myself which may be useful to you.

Otherwise, I can provide insight to yourself that may help.

3. I can talk to some extent on covid-19 vaccines, specifically Pfizer-BioNTech

4. I can explain how a lot of money and manpower are very helpful in containing covid (such as emptying a whole apartment block within 12 hours and quarantining everyone); as well as other important contributing factors in responding to covid

5. I can talk about some consequences covid has caused such as women's equality going backwards,

6. I have contacts/ information from the World over, some from places the hardest hit by covid so my perspective is wide and knowledge through many lenses

7. I will be flying when it is easier, so I can tell you how I plan to do that and/or give you advice. Travel is in my blood and nothing will stop me, within reason

8. I am used to not physically seeing my family regularly. I might be able to provide comfort or ways to cope if you're not used to seeing your family on an irregular basis

I am reaching out to all, but especially those living in New Zealand. The majority of you have no idea of what you are going through, you have no experience of health problems like this, I know your psyche and the lifestyle many of you are used to. You're complacent towards covid and need to get better and accept level 3 or 4 instead of complaining, but it hurts me so much to hear about the spread of covid. I am emotionally supporting you.

Do not question the past, deal with the present. Accept the uncertainty and unknown of the future to a large extent. You can still plan, but without dates. I still have a list which mainly involves travel and I'm still saving money. I don't know when but I will travel.

And for people who believe travel pre-pandemic will stop forever, it won't. It may be different, but it will start again. Humans are too connected now to not fly. That's like believing from now on we should only have ten people on each mode of public transport or even not have public transport after the pandemic is manageable, or over. No.

-A.M.

P.S. I did have this typed up and it was beautiful but then I lost the original and it's no one's fault but mine.

P.P.S. I think I mentioned most if not all the restrictions in place here and if not, the ones relevant to the point I'm making.

Tāmakimakaurau

Auckland.

No covid update in front of media at 1 pm. A written statement, 20 new community cases, one death which is the first of this outbreak, 782 community cases in total.

But an update on the terror attack at 2 pm with Jacinda Ardern and Police Comissioner Andrew Coster. The attacker's criminal history revealed. Not his immigration status because his family overseas have been given at least 24 hours. Jacinda Ardern never intended to reveal his name, even if legally allowed.

More information but of course questions and whilst his ideology was the cause, there are still many whys, which we may never have an answer to.

Kim Hill had a one hour special on her Saturday Morning programme, which is where I heard some of the information Jacinda Ardern said in the media update later on.

I think tomorrow, 5 September, there will be a covid and terror attack update.

One of the legal issues, not just for New Zealand, but for many governments and legal systems the World over is you can't have a legal process brought against you for an action you haven't committed. Thinking is not an action. When you have broken the law because you have done something, an action, yes, you can.

After hearing more about the attacker, and specifically in relation to this case, or maybe inspired by it, planning is, again, not actually doing it. Anyone can plan to do anything, but you are not doing it.

Personally, I think planning is a stronger argument than thinking.

I will take banal examples and completely unrelated to the terrorist attack.

I can think about going on holiday to a hotel next to the beach. But absolutely no practical action has been taken, I have not even started saving money, I have not looked up flights nor accommodation, asked for time off work etc.

I have thought about going on holiday to a hotel next to the beach. I have saved up money, I have looked up flights and booked them, I have looked up accommodation but not booked yet because I can't decide where to stay, I have asked my boss for time off work.

There is clearly a difference between thinking and planning. Thinking is less concrete, planning is more concrete in terms of it actually happening. But even with thinking, I could still research flights and accommodation but not actually make any practical steps and one could still find, to use the legal term, evidence: my browser history, handwritten notes, but if that was all they found, to me it seems it would still be firmly in the 'thinking' area. I have not made any more concrete steps as 'planning' for my holiday.

Although planning is more concrete, I could still not go on my holiday. I may suddenly cancel my bookings just before my planned holiday, I may not cancel and simply not show up. There are many reasons I may not go on my planned holiday: family emergency, work suddenly needed me, I get sick, I wake up late etc.

Until I actually am on the holiday in the hotel next to the beach, I am not on the holiday next to the beach.

This is absolutely not to say I will not go on holiday whether I am thinking or planning to. There are indications I will.

It is because officials and the Police had indications they carried out the actions and precautions they did. And they turned out to be correct.

Of course the government are trying to make 'planning' a part of counter - terrorism law, to explain it generally and badly. But now, it is not law.

Luckily, the Police, Surveillance Team and NZ Security Intelligence Service (NZSIS) were on to it which meant/means the attack was most likely not as harmful as it has been. Seven victims and seven lives, but it could have been more.

Covid level alert 4 also likely reduced the victims because there were less people present but as Andrew Coster said, it made it harder to surveil the attacker. Even so, the reaction of the Police, Surveillance Team and NZSIS was extremely fast in Countdown. And the police cars and helicopter arriving at the scene were too.

Auckland, you may soon be a place in NZ with the most scars: not Christchurch, not Westport, not Wellington.

Yesterday you had a lot to deal with.

Today you had the first covid death of this outbreak and if you felt that earthquake, that too.

Also, Phil Goff, you seem decent. A politician but more open and 'honest' than others.

Also, to note matter-of-factly: Christchurch had a terror attack, Auckland's had one, Wellington has not. It could be coincidental, but an interesting point I think.

- A.M.

Countdown LynnMall, Auckland, New Zealand

Auckland. You're in covid alert level 4, complete lockdown, you had a covid escapee, then an internet outage and now, a terrorist attack. All in the same day.

In the last 72 hours, West Auckland had floods as well.

Afghanistan and Northland being in its first day of level 3 are in the background.

Not only did it hit me when Jacinda Ardern said it was a terrorist attack, but he had been in New Zealand since October 2011 and a person of national security interest since 2016. A Sri Lankan national. Suppression by a court order.

Jacinda was not present for the 1 pm covid update* but around 5.15 pm, around 4 hours and fifteen minutes later, she found herself in front of media.

I praise the police in cars and the helicopter who got there as fast as they could, aside from all who were surveilling him.

It might not count for much, but I always liked Auckland and would have lived there if I could. I still would, and most definitely over Wellington. I would love going out for a walk in lockdown along a deserted Queen Street because it would feel as if the city is mine and it would be beautiful.

It is entirely different, but I am a Christchurch Earthquake Baby and I remember thinking the All Blacks had to win the Rugby World Cup that year. And they did. New Zealand needed it. Christchurch needed it. Christchurch went through that.

Auckland will get through everything in its own way.

Kia kaha Auckland.

Aroha.

BoDeans "Prayer for the Weary" is appropriate in my opinion.

- A.M.

* The covid media update did happen, just not with her present